Not Ready For Divorce? Here Are 3 Types of Marital Separation To Consider

Not all married couples who decide to split up end up divorcing. In fact, there are many factors that can make a marital separation a beneficial option.

When you and your spouse are talking about a split, a separation might be an option to consider before jumping right to divorce.

That doesn't mean it's an easy process. Separating from a spouse can be an emotionally painful and financially stressful experience. There's no sugar-coating it; separating from a spouse can feel like riding an intimidating roller coaster of highs and lows filled with a flurry of conflicting feelings like disappointment, fear, relief, confusion, and anticipation.

And then there are the immediate practical questions that pop up, like:

What are my options? Do I move out, or does my spouse? How will the separation affect my children? What does this mean for my financial future? What will I do about medical insurance?

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To help you navigate all of this, let's break down the three types of marital separation: trial, permanent, and legal. It’s important to note that all three options will technically keep you legally married, but the nuances and consequences will vary.

Here's the nitty-gritty:

1. Trial Separation

Think of trial separation as 'time-out.' If you embark on a trial separation, you're still legally married but living apart to reassess your feelings. Couples opt for it to gain perspective, or some much-needed space, or to scrutinize the relationship without noise.

Pros:

• It can be helpful for spouses to have some space from each other to consider if they want to reconcile or divorce.

• It could be a less disruptive option for children involved.

• Financial arrangements remain unchanged, ensuring security.

Cons:

• It can create ambiguity, leading to continued feelings of ambiguity about the relationship.

• Legally, your financial assets remain tied, which, without proper preparation and agreements, can become complicated.

2. Permanent Separation

A notch above trial separation, a permanent separation often acts as the anteroom to a divorce. You and your spouse agree to live apart indefinitely without any intention of reconciliation.

Pros:

• It can be less emotionally draining than an immediate divorce.

• You can have your autonomy while retaining specific benefits like social security and health insurance from your spouse's plan.

Cons:

• Uncertainty can take an emotional toll on partners and children.

• You’re financially liable for any debt your spouse incurs after separation.

Most states recognize permanent separation and use the separation date when dividing marital property.

3. Legal Separation

Unlike the other types, a legal separation requires court involvement. You can hire a family law attorney or mediator to help you and your spouse negotiate the terms of your legal separation and file the necessary paperwork with the courts.

Pros:

• It provides the clarity of a divorce without ending the marriage.

• It can secure your financial rights while living apart.

Cons:

• It can be just as extensive and costly as a divorce.

• The possibility of going back to court for disagreements can lead to prolonged stress and cost.

A legal separation, although providing clarity in terms of financial division and rights, can come with quite a few disadvantages compared to a trial separation. It can be almost as extensive and costly as a divorce since it involves court intervention, and you could find yourself continually heading back to court if disagreements arise. When weighing a legal separation against divorce, it's essential to understand that with a legal separation, you're still married, which may keep certain family, financial, or medical benefits intact.

Did you know:

Six states, including Florida and Georgia, do not have legal separations, but others, like California, recognize it.

Don't Forget This Important Step

Before embarking on any marital separation, you'll want to think through what tax implications might be involved. In a trial separation, a couple's financial situation does not legally change, and you can still file your taxes as a married couple. Being legally separated may impact your tax filing status.

No matter which type of separation you choose, make sure to run it by your tax preparer or CPA to make sure you understand the implications your arrangement will have on your tax filings.

You should also keep in mind that divorce laws in some states require couples to live apart for a certain period of time before a divorce. Make sure to research what the requirements are in your state before embarking on a separation or divorce.

And one last thought...

No matter what type of separation you might choose, remember that once a spouse embarks on a new romantic relationship, things can get a little sticky. Make sure to address this issue early in your discussions so you can come up with guidelines to help you figure out how to incorporate new romantic partners into your 'separated but legally still married' arrangement.

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