Helping Your Kids Thrive This Summer: A Real-Talk Guide for Divorcing Parents

With some thoughtful planning, you can turn summer during divorce from “yuck” to “yeah!"

Summer is supposed to be the season of freedom and fun for kids—but if you’re navigating divorce, you know it can bring a whole different set of challenges. I’ve worked with countless families who dread the approach of summer break, worried about custody schedules, vacation conflicts, and how their kids will handle all the changes.

Here’s what I want you to know: your kids can absolutely thrive this summer. It’s going to look different than before, and that’s okay. In fact, it might even be better in ways you haven’t imagined yet.

When I shared this with my newsletter subscribers one week last month, the feedback I got was amazing! Helping you make things as easy and stress-free for your kids as possible during divorce is so important, so I created this simple guide to take the guesswork out of what to do.

Let me walk you through what I’ve learned from my clients and my own experience about how to make summer work for divorced and divorcing families, so you're in the best position to set your kids (and yourself!) up for success this summer.

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The Summer Struggle is Real

First, let’s acknowledge what you’re probably already feeling. Summer throws some unique curveballs when you’re co-parenting:

The Routine Disruption

Without school structure, kids often feel emotionally off balance. I see this all the time—children who seem to have adjusted well to their new normal suddenly start acting out or becoming more clingy. It’s not regression; it’s their way of processing the lack of predictability when both their family structure AND their daily routine have changed.

Vacation Planning Nightmares

Oh, the vacation conversations. I’ve heard it all—fights over who gets which weeks, conflicts with extended family plans, and the stress of coordinating camps and activities. Your kids feel this tension, even when you think you’re hiding it well.

The “Different Family” Reality

Your child’s friends are posting family vacation photos with both parents, and your kid is acutely aware that their summer looks different now. This isn’t about feeling sorry for them—it’s about recognizing that they’re processing what their new normal means in a very public, social media-driven world.

More Time to Think (and Feel)

With fewer distractions, kids have more mental space to process the divorce. Don’t be surprised if emotions you thought were resolved suddenly resurface. A client recently told me her 8-year-old asked out of nowhere, “Will you and dad ever live together again?” These moments can catch you off guard, but they’re actually healthy signs of processing.

Co-Parenting Through Summer: What Actually Works

I’ve seen families nail summer co-parenting, and I’ve seen others struggle unnecessarily because they skipped some key steps. Here’s what makes the difference:

1. Plan Early, Communicate Clearly

I cannot stress this enough: start your summer planning conversations in March - not June. The families who wait until the last minute are the ones calling me in crisis mode because camps conflict with custody schedules and no one can get time off work.

Get specific about dates, times, transportation, and backup plans. Yes, it feels like a lot of admin work, but trust me—this upfront effort saves massive headaches later.

2. Use Technology to Your Advantage

Stop trying to coordinate through text messages. I recommend tools like OurFamilyWizard or even a shared Google calendar to my clients. It takes the emotional charge out of scheduling discussions and gives both parents access to the same information.

One of my clients called these tools “relationship savers” because they eliminated the daily back-and-forth that was creating conflict.

3. Stay Flexible (But Not Doormat-Flexible)

There’s a difference between healthy flexibility and being walked all over. Healthy flexibility means adjusting plans when your child has an unexpected opportunity or when life happens. Doormat flexibility means constantly rearranging your schedule because your co-parent doesn’t plan ahead.

Know the difference and set boundaries accordingly.

4. Keep Kids in the Loop

Your children want to know what to expect. I’ve seen parents who think they’re protecting their kids by not discussing schedules, but this actually increases anxiety. Age-appropriate information about plans helps kids feel secure and involved in their own lives.

Supporting Your Kids’ Emotional Journey

Kids don’t process emotions the way adults do. They need different outlets and approaches. Here’s what I recommend:

Create Space for Expression

Some of my clients’ kids love feelings journals, while others prefer drawing or creating photo albums. The medium doesn’t matter—what matters is giving them consistent opportunities to express what’s happening inside.

I had one family where the kids started making “adventure books” documenting their experiences at both houses. It became a way to celebrate their expanded world rather than focusing on what they were missing.

Get Outside Together

Some of the best conversations happen during unstructured outdoor time. Nature walks, gardening, or just sitting on the porch can create natural opportunities for kids to share what they’re thinking about.

There’s something about being in motion or having your hands busy that makes difficult conversations feel less intimidating for kids.

Use Books as Conversation Starters

Your librarian is your friend here. There are excellent books that help kids understand they’re not alone in their experience. Stories give kids language for feelings they might not know how to express otherwise.

Let Them Move

Physical activity isn’t just good for their bodies—it’s essential for processing emotions. Dance parties in the kitchen, family bike rides, swimming—whatever gets them moving helps them work through stuck feelings.

A Tool That’s Made a Real Difference

Created by a divorced mom Fiona Kong, this tool has been incredibly helpful for many of my clients’ children: the Home Sweet Homes Journal. This isn’t just another activity book—it’s specifically designed for kids who are navigating life between two homes.

The journal includes prompts and activities that help kids process having multiple “homes” and gives them tools for making transitions smoother. I’ve had parents tell me their kids carry this journal back and forth between houses and that it’s become a source of comfort during transitions.

What I love about it is that it normalizes their experience rather than treating it like something that needs to be fixed.

Creating New Traditions (That Don’t Try Too Hard)

Here’s the thing about creating new traditions—they don’t need to be Instagram-worthy. Some of the most meaningful traditions I’ve seen are beautifully simple:

“Your Choice” Days

Let your kids have complete control over one day a week. They pick the activity, the meal, the music in the car. It gives them control and agency during a time when many decisions are being made for them.

Memory Collecting

Summer memory jars, photo projects, or even just keeping a running list of “best moments” on the fridge. These help kids focus on what they’re gaining rather than what they’ve lost.

Weekly Anchors

Simple weekly rituals like pancake Sundays or Friday movie nights create predictability that kids crave. The best part? These can happen at both houses, creating connection rather than competition between homes.

The Truth About “Getting It Right”

Let me be honest with you—you’re not going to get everything right this summer. You’ll have moments of frustration, times when co-parenting feels impossible, and days when your kids seem to be struggling despite your best efforts.

That’s not failure. That’s normal.

Your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be present, consistent, and willing to adapt when something isn’t working. They need to see that you’re committed to making their experience as positive as possible, even when it’s hard.

I’ve watched families transform their summer experience by focusing on progress over perfection. The goal isn’t to eliminate all challenges—it’s to handle them with grace and keep your kids’ wellbeing at the center of every decision.

Moving Forward with Confidence

This summer is going to be different, and different doesn’t have to mean worse. With some planning, the right tools, and a commitment to putting your kids first, you can create a summer filled with new memories and meaningful growth.

Remember: every family’s journey through divorce is unique. What works for your neighbor might not work for you, and that’s perfectly okay. Stay attuned to your kids’ needs, be willing to adjust your approach, and don’t hesitate to seek support when you need it.

Your kids are watching how you handle this transition, and they’re learning valuable lessons about resilience, adaptation, and love. Show them that change can lead to growth, that challenges can be overcome, and that your family’s story is still being written.

Resources for Your Journey

If you’re looking for additional support with co-parenting communication, I recommend learning about the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm) for keeping conversations focused and productive. There are also excellent resources available for helping children navigate transitions between homes with practical tips and tools. Here's a post where I go into detail on what it is and how to use it so your co-parenting journey goes as smoothly as possible.

Remember, you’ve got this. Your love for your children will guide you through the challenges, and with the right support and strategies, this summer can be the beginning of beautiful new chapters in your family’s story.

Feeling overwhelmed about how to navigate divorce—especially with kids in the mix?

You don’t have to figure it all out on your own. I offer a free 15-minute strategy call to help you take the next right step—whether you’re preparing for a separation, in the early stages of divorce, or actively navigating the process.

As a Divorce Prep Coach and founder of The Divorce Planner, I specialize in helping parents move forward with clarity, confidence, and a practical plan—especially when it comes to co-parenting and putting your kids first.

👉 Book your free 15-minute call with me, Alex Beattie, right here.

You’ve got this—and I’m here to support you every step of the way.