Your Holiday Game Plan: How to Navigate Divorce During Thanksgiving and Beyond

If you’re heading into the holiday season while navigating divorce or separation, this time of year can feel anything but merry.

That mix of gratitude and complete overwhelm? Totally normal.

Dread and anxiety? Yup, normal.

The holidays during or after divorce feel different. But here’s what I want you to know: different doesn’t have to mean bad.

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Whether it’s Thanksgiving, the December holidays, or New Year’s—this guide will help you get through the season with clarity, structure, and hopefully even a few genuine moments of peace.

Lower the Bar—On Purpose

This year, “good enough” is more than enough. If the table isn’t full, if the meal is takeout, if the decorations stay boxed—it’s okay. Holidays are about being present, not performing.

Give yourself permission to redefine what this season looks like. Maybe this is your year for quiet gratitude instead of forced celebration. Maybe it’s a smaller gathering with people who actually get what you’re going through. Maybe it’s just you and your kids doing something completely different.

There’s no rulebook that says the holidays have to look a certain way. You get to decide what works best for you.

Have a Plan for the Hard Moments

The week leading up to any major holiday can feel like an emotional minefield—especially with family expectations and social media full of “perfect families.”

Spoiler alert: No family is perfect.

But those picture-perfect posts can still sting when you’re going through a divorce. So before the holiday arrives, write down your plan:

Who will you call or text if you start to spiral? Have that person on speed dial. Let them know in advance that you might need them.

What will you do if emotions come up unexpectedly? Step outside. Journal. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Have a go-to that works for you.

How will you respond to insensitive questions? Because they’re coming. Practice saying: “Thanks for asking, but I’m keeping things private this year.” Or: “We’re figuring things out, but I’d rather not get into it today.”

Preparation helps you meet emotion with clarity instead of chaos.

Self-Compassion Is Your Most Important Tool

When you’re navigating divorce during the holidays, being kind to yourself isn’t optional—it’s essential.

You’re going through one of the hardest experiences of your life AND trying to show up for a season that’s supposed to be about joy and togetherness. That’s a lot.

So when you feel like you’re not doing enough, when you compare yourself to how things used to be, when you wonder if you’re ruining the holidays for everyone—stop. You’re doing the best you can in an incredibly difficult situation. And that’s enough.

RELATED: Self-Compassion During Divorce: Your Most Powerful Tool

Start Planning Ahead Now

One of the best things you can do for your future self is to plan ahead. It’s how you protect your peace later.

Start conversations now about co-parenting schedules. The earlier you have these conversations, the less last-minute stress you’ll face. Who has the kids for which holidays? What time is the handoff? Where? Get it in writing if you can, even if it’s just a text confirmation.

Create a simple holiday budget. Financial anxiety spikes during the holidays, especially when you’re adjusting to a new financial reality. You don’t need a complicated spreadsheet—just know what you can realistically spend on gifts, food, and travel, and stick to it.

Start shaping your own version of tradition. This might be the hardest one, but also the most important. The old traditions might not work anymore. So what do YOU want this season to look like? What feels authentic to you and your kids, if you have them?

You’re not just getting through one holiday—you’re building a foundation for how you’ll move through every holiday season from here on out.

Find the Small Joys

Even in hard seasons, there are moments that remind you that you're going to be okay, and that you're loved.

A friend’s text at the right time. A cold-air walk that clears your head. A few minutes of journaling before bed. Your kid laughing at something ridiculous. A quiet cup of coffee before anyone else wakes up.

These small moments matter. They add up. And they’re proof that even in the middle of something really hard, there’s still good.

Look for them. Write them down if it helps. Let them remind you that you’re still here, still capable of joy, still moving forward.

What If You’re Dreading This Season?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “I just want to skip the holidays entirely”—I hear you.

You don’t have to love this time of year right now. You don’t have to fake it. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine when it’s not.

But you do have to take care of yourself. And sometimes that means making a plan even when you don’t feel like it. Sometimes it means reaching out even when you’d rather isolate. Sometimes it means lowering expectations so you can actually meet them.

This season won’t be perfect. But it can be okay. And okay is enough.

Need Help Creating Your Holiday Plan?

If you're stuck on planning conversations with your spouse, managing family expectations, or figuring out your next steps—I'm here.

Book a free 15-minute strategy call and let's talk through what's on your plate. Sometimes just having someone to think through things with makes all the difference.

More Resources to Help You Through the Season:

• Self-Compassion During Divorce: Your Most Powerful Tool - Learn why being kind to yourself isn't optional during divorce—it's essential for making smart decisions and protecting your peace.

  
  

• Trusting Your Instincts About Divorce: Why Your Gut Already Knows the Answer - When you're questioning everything, your instincts can be your guide. Here's how to reconnect with what you already know.

  
  

• Healing After Divorce Rejection: Moving Forward When Marriage Ends - Navigate the stages of grief and learn how to set boundaries, practice self-care, and rebuild after rejection.

  
  

• The Emotional Side of Divorce: Learning to Surrender During Hard Times - Discover how acceptance and surrender can help you move through divorce with less suffering and more peace.

  
  

• How to Prepare for Divorce Negotiations So You Get the Outcome You Want - Planning ahead isn't just about finances—it's about protecting your emotional wellbeing and getting what you need for your future.