How to Find a Good Divorce Lawyer: 5 Places to Start Your Search

One of the first questions people ask me when they're thinking about divorce is: "How do I find a good lawyer?"

Not just any lawyer. A good one. Someone who's experienced, reasonable, won't drain your bank account unnecessarily, and actually gets what you're going through.

It's one of the most important decisions you'll make during this process—and one of the most overwhelming. Because how are you supposed to evaluate something you've never done before? How do you know if someone is good at what they do when you don't even know what questions to ask yet?

Here's the truth: finding a good divorce lawyer isn't about luck. It's about knowing where to look, what to ask, and how to evaluate whether someone is the right fit for your situation.

Let me walk you through it.

Why Finding the Right Lawyer Matters More Than You Think

Your divorce attorney isn't just someone who files paperwork. They're your strategist, your translator, your reality check, and often the person who keeps you from making decisions you'll regret later.

A good attorney will save you money, time, and emotional energy. They'll help you understand what's reasonable to ask for, what's worth fighting over, and what you should let go. They'll keep you focused on the long game instead of getting pulled into every battle your ex wants to pick.

A bad attorney? They'll run up your bill with unnecessary motions, escalate conflict instead of resolving it, or worse—give you advice that sounds good in the moment but doesn't actually serve your future.

This decision matters. So let's make sure you know how to find someone good.

Where to Start Your Search: 5 Places to Look for a Good Divorce Lawyer

If you're starting from scratch and have no idea where to begin, here are the five places I recommend:

1. Avvo.com (Like Yelp for Lawyers)

Avvo is one of the best online resources for finding and vetting attorneys. You can search by location and practice area, read client reviews, see their ratings, and get a sense of their experience and approach.

What to look for on Avvo: Overall rating (look for 4.5+ stars), number of reviews (the more, the better—it means they have a track record), how they respond to reviews (do they engage professionally, or do they get defensive?), years of experience in family law specifically (not just general practice), and whether they offer free consultations.

Pro tip: Don't just read the 5-star reviews. Read the 3-star and 4-star reviews. Those tend to be the most honest and will tell you what this attorney's weaknesses are—whether it's communication, responsiveness, or something else.

2. Ask Family and Friends (But Be Strategic About It)

If you know someone who's been through a divorce, ask them about their experience with their attorney. But here's the key: don't just ask if they liked their lawyer. Ask specific questions.

Questions to ask: How did your attorney communicate with you? Were they responsive? Did you feel like they listened to what you wanted, or did they push their own agenda? How did they handle conflict? Did they escalate things or try to resolve them? Did you feel like the bill was fair for the work they did? Knowing what you know now, would you hire them again?

Also pay attention to whether your friend's divorce situation is similar to yours. If they had a high-conflict, custody-heavy divorce and you're dealing with a straightforward asset split, their attorney might not be the right fit for you—and vice versa.

3. Local Facebook Groups

This one surprises people, but local Facebook groups—especially mom groups, women's groups, or divorce support groups—can be gold mines for referrals.

People in these groups tend to be brutally honest. If someone had a bad experience with a lawyer, they'll say it. If someone had a great experience, they'll shout it from the rooftops.

Search for groups in your area like: "[Your City] Moms", "Divorce Support [Your State]", "[Your City] Women's Network"

Post a simple question: "Looking for recommendations for a good divorce attorney in [city]. Would love to hear about your experiences—good or bad."

You'll get responses. And you'll start to see patterns. If the same name comes up three or four times, that's worth paying attention to.

4. Amicable Divorce Network (For Collaborative and Mediation-Focused Attorneys)

If you're looking for an attorney who prioritizes collaborative divorce or mediation over litigation, the Amicable Divorce Network is a great resource.

These are attorneys who are specifically trained in collaborative law and alternative dispute resolution. They're not trying to "win" your divorce for you—they're trying to help you reach a fair agreement without going to court.

This approach isn't right for everyone. If you're dealing with a high-conflict spouse, financial abuse, or safety concerns, you may need a more aggressive attorney. But if you and your spouse are reasonably civil and you want to avoid the cost and trauma of litigation, this is worth exploring.

You can search their directory by location and see which attorneys in your area are part of the network.

5. Ask Other Divorce Lawyers

Here's a strategy most people don't think of: call a few divorce attorneys and ask them who they'd recommend.

Attorneys know each other. They know who's good, who's reasonable, who's a nightmare to deal with, and who gets results. And if you call an attorney who's booked or not the right fit for your case, many of them will refer you to someone else.

You can also ask other professionals who work in the divorce space—therapists, financial advisors, mediators, CDFAs. They all work with divorce attorneys regularly and know who's competent and who's not.

What to Look for in a Good Divorce Attorney

Once you've got a few names, here's how to evaluate whether they're actually good:

Experience in family law specifically. You don't want a general practice attorney who does a little bit of everything. You want someone who does divorce day in and day out and knows the judges, the court system, and the local norms.

A communication style that works for you. Some people want an attorney who's aggressive and combative. Others want someone calm and collaborative. Neither is wrong—but you need to know which one you need and make sure your attorney matches that.

Transparency about fees. A good attorney will be upfront about their hourly rate, retainer, and how they bill. If someone is vague or evasive about costs, that's a red flag.

Realistic expectations. If an attorney promises you the moon—tells you you'll get everything you want, that your ex won't get anything, that this will be quick and easy—run. A good attorney will tell you the truth, even when it's not what you want to hear.

Responsiveness. You should be able to get a response to your emails or calls within 24-48 hours. If an attorney is constantly unreachable or takes a week to get back to you, that's a problem.

A track record of resolution. Ask how many of their cases go to trial versus settling out of court. If everything goes to trial, that tells you something about their approach—and it's probably going to cost you a lot more money.

Questions to Ask During Your Consultation

Most divorce attorneys offer free or low-cost initial consultations. This is your chance to interview them. Don't waste it.

Here are the questions you should ask:

• How long have you been practicing family law?

• What percentage of your practice is divorce and family law?

• Have you handled cases similar to mine? (Describe your situation—custody, high assets, business ownership, whatever applies.)

• What's your approach to divorce?

• Do you prefer mediation, collaboration, or litigation?

• How do you communicate with clients? (Email, phone, text?)

• What's your hourly rate, and what's your retainer?

• How do you bill? (Some bill in 6-minute increments, others in 15-minute increments. This matters.)

• Who else in your firm might work on my case? (Paralegals, associates, etc.)

• How long do you think my case will take?

• What do you see as the biggest challenges in my case?

Want all of these questions (plus more) in one place? Download my free guide: 24 Questions to Ask a Divorce Attorney Before You Hire Them. It's a comprehensive checklist you can bring to every consultation that includes a log to keep track of all info shared so you are organized from the start. Get it here.

Pay attention not just to their answers, but to how they make you feel. Do you feel heard? Do they seem rushed? Do they talk over you or actually listen?

Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

Here are the things that should make you think twice:

They guarantee an outcome. No attorney can guarantee what a judge will decide. If they promise you'll get full custody, the house, or a specific settlement amount, they're lying to you.

They badmouth other attorneys constantly. It's one thing to acknowledge that opposing counsel is difficult. It's another to spend your entire consultation trashing other lawyers.

That's unprofessional.

They're dismissive of your concerns. If you bring up something that matters to you and they wave it off or tell you it's not important, that's a problem. You need an attorney who takes your priorities seriously.

They push you toward litigation without exploring other options first. Litigation should be the last resort, not the first strategy.

You can't get a straight answer about costs. If they're evasive, vague, or won't put their fee structure in writing, walk away.

They don't return your calls or emails during the consultation process. If they're not responsive when they're trying to get your business, they definitely won't be responsive once they have it.

The Difference Between a Good Lawyer and the Right Lawyer for You

Here's something important to understand: a good lawyer isn't necessarily the right lawyer for you.

Someone can be incredibly skilled, experienced, and well-reviewed—and still not be the right fit for your situation.

If you're dealing with a high-conflict divorce and you hire an attorney who specializes in collaborative law, you're going to be frustrated. If you want to settle things amicably and you hire a bulldog litigator, you're going to end up in an expensive court battle you didn't want.

The right attorney for you is someone who has experience with cases like yours, matches your communication style and approach, fits your budget (or at least is transparent about costs), and you feel comfortable with.

Don't hire someone just because they're the "best" in town if they don't feel like the right fit for you. You're going to be working closely with this person during one of the hardest times in your life. That relationship matters.

What If You Can't Afford an Attorney?

This is a real concern for a lot of people, and with the average cost of a divorce topping out at $20,000.00 in 2025, we should all be figuring out how to use our money wisely during divorce so we have more to start our life with after than not.

Divorce attorneys are expensive. Retainers often start at $5,000 and can go much higher. Hourly rates range from $250 to $600+ depending on where you live and the attorney's experience.

If you genuinely can't afford an attorney, here are some options:

• Legal aid organizations. Many states have legal aid societies that provide free or low-cost legal help to people who qualify based on income.

• Unbundled legal services. Some attorneys will handle specific parts of your case (like reviewing documents or representing you at a hearing) rather than taking on the entire case. This is called "limited scope representation" and it's much more affordable.

• Mediation. If you and your spouse can agree to mediate, you can split the cost of one mediator instead of each paying for your own attorney.

• Pro bono services. Some attorneys take on a certain number of pro bono (free) cases each year. It's worth asking.

• Payment plans. Some attorneys will work out a payment plan instead of requiring the full retainer upfront.

And here's something else to know: in many states, attorney fees can be paid out of marital assets. So even if you don't have cash on hand, you may be able to get your fees covered as part of the divorce settlement. Ask about this during your consultation.

When Should You Actually Meet with an Attorney?

One question I get all the time is: when is the right time to talk to a lawyer? The answer might surprise you: sooner than you think.

Meeting with an attorney doesn't mean you're filing for divorce tomorrow. It means you're gathering information so you can make informed decisions.

I talked about this in depth with attorney Dennis Vetrano Jr. on The Divorce Planner Podcast. He broke down exactly when you should meet with an attorney, what to expect from that first meeting, and how to prepare so you're not wasting time (and money) on things you could have done yourself.

You can listen to the full episode here: When Should You Meet with a Divorce Attorney? Insights from Attorney Dennis Vetrano Jr.

How I Can Help You Prepare Before You Ever Talk to a Lawyer

One of the best things you can do before you hire an attorney—or even before you have your first consultation—is get organized.

The more prepared you are, the less time your attorney has to spend gathering basic information, and the less money you'll spend on billable hours.

Here's what you should have ready: A complete list of all your assets (bank accounts, retirement accounts, real estate, vehicles, etc.), a complete list of all your debts (mortgages, credit cards, student loans, car loans, etc.), copies of recent tax returns (at least the last 2-3 years), pay stubs or proof of income for both you and your spouse, and a list of questions or concerns you have about the divorce.

If you need help getting organized, the Get Organized 2-Pack ($35) walks you through exactly what to gather and how to document everything. The Monthly Budget Calculator ($37) helps you map your current expenses against your post-divorce reality so you know what you actually need financially.

And if you want the complete system, the Divorce Prep Bundle ($67) gives you everything—document checklists, financial trackers, asset logs, and step-by-step guidance to walk into every conversation prepared. One bundle. One-time cost. Saves you hundreds in legal fees because you're not paying $400-$600+/hour for your attorney to tell you what documents to gather.

You're Hiring Them, Not the Other Way Around

Here's the mindset shift I want you to make: you are hiring this attorney. They are working for you.

You are not lucky that they agreed to take your case. You are not asking them for a favor. You are a client, and you deserve competent, responsive, professional representation.

If an attorney makes you feel small, stupid, or like you're bothering them—find someone else.

If they're not returning your calls, not explaining things in a way you understand, or not listening to what you want—find someone else.

You have more power in this relationship than you think. Use it.

Finding a good divorce lawyer takes time, but it's worth the effort. This is one of the most important decisions you'll make during your divorce. Don't rush it. Do your research. Ask questions. Trust your gut.

What's Your Next Step?

Not sure where to start with divorce prep? Book a free 15-minute consultation with me and we'll talk through where you are and what makes sense for your situation.