Everyone has seen divorce attorneys portrayed in movies and series as either money hungry and running up their client's bill, or as an uninterested party. The truth of the matter is that a divorce attorney needs to clearly understand what your wants and needs are in order to get you the outcome you want -- but they can't do that without YOU being an active part of the process.
Attorneys play a crucial role in helping individuals navigate the legal challenges of divorce and secure their rights. But in reality what family law attorneys do best can only be accomplished when they have a client that is educated and has a clear understanding of the process from the jump. With attorneys hourly rates averaging anywhere between $250 to $500+ per hour, finding ways to cut down on billing and spend less on divorce is the name of the game.
So what does that mean for you? In the simplest terms, in order for you to get the outcome you want (and cut down on the amount of money your divorce will cost), you're going to have to be an active participate in the divorce process and become a partner with your legal representative. The good news is that it isn't as hard as you think!
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Here are 10 things Family Law Attorneys want you to know (and do) Before Divorce:
1. Understanding Your Finances is Key
A crucial aspect of divorce planning is understanding your finances. Attorneys often stress the importance of gathering and organizing financial documents, including assets, liabilities, income, and expenses. This information is essential for equitable distribution and financial planning post-divorce. It's also everything they need to get the process started. While there will be a financial discovery period for both spouses to hand over any and all financial information (both marital and individual), it's always a good idea to start digging into this information sooner rather than later. This benefits you in a myriad of ways, including anticipating how your budget will change after divorce so you can make a plan and taming those big money fears that come up during divorce.
Do This: Gather all financial documents, know your assets and debts, and have a clear picture of your financial standing before initiating divorce proceedings. Not only will you have necessary information to share that will put your attorney in the position to start working on your case, you'll cut down on billable hours of back-and-forth about what they need from you. The Divorce Planner's What To Gather worksheet lists in detail what to collect and how to get organized so you're ready to have your attorney get right to work!
2. Establishing Your Priorities
The fastest way to get derailed during divorce negotiations is by not having a clear understanding of your goals. Before beginning on the divorce process, it's essential to establish what's important so that your priorities to guide you through every decision that needs to be made. Once you have that information, and share that with your attorney, they can work on securing what matters most to you. Figure out if that's your childcare split, asset protection, or financial security. By prioritizing your goals, you can develop a strategy that aligns with your needs, which keeps you on track to get what you want.
Do This: Start by asking yourself what your ideal version of a settlement looks like.
3. Communication is Key
Much like your spouse, attorneys are not mind readers. Effective communication is vital during a divorce. Attorneys emphasize the importance of clear and open communication with their clients in order reach an amicable agreement. In cases where communication is challenging between spouses, attorneys can act as intermediaries to facilitate discussions and negotiations.
Do This: Once you've done the action in #2 above, tell your attorney what your ideal settlement would be. Let them know what you're willing to negotiate on, and what are non-negotiables.
4. Considering Alternative Dispute Resolution
While divorce cases do end up in court, that doesn't have to be your first stop. In fact, attorneys often recommend and support alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation. This approaches can help resolve conflicts more efficiently and cost-effectively, allowing both parties to have greater control over the outcome.
Do This: Check out the post How To Prepare For A Divorce Mediation: A Step-By-Step Guide to learn more.
5. Crafting a Comprehensive Plan
If you and your soon-to-be ex aren't on the best of terms, talking through things you need to decide might not be an option, but experienced attorneys can help you craft a comprehensive divorce plan that addresses all aspects of your case. From property division to spousal support agreements, a well-thought-out plan can streamline the divorce process and minimize conflicts along the way.
6. Seeking Emotional Support
Divorce is not just a legal process; it's also an emotional journey. Attorneys often recommend seeking emotional support from therapists, support groups, or divorce coaches to help individuals cope with the emotional challenges of divorce. Taking care of your mental well-being is essential during this time.
Do This: Separate the emotional side of divorce from the business side. Learn how to do that in the post 6 Ways To Separate The Emotional Side Of Divorce From The Business Side.
Don't treat your divorce attorney like a therapist -- they will charge you like an attorney!
7. Prioritizing Your Children
For couples with children, prioritizing their well-being throughout the divorce process is paramount. What's best for your kids should be your guiding light during divorce negotiations. That includes parenting time, financial support, and a clear plan for how to guide your kids through this big family change feeling safe and supported.
Attorneys can assist in crafting parenting plans, determining custody arrangements, and ensuring that the best interests of the children are at the forefront of all decisions, but they can't do that effectively without understanding your co-parenting dynamic without your input and guidance. Give thought to what arrangements will work best for your schedule and your kids after divorce and research parenting plans for tips on details to take into consideration.
This conversation with parenting plan coach and mediator Samantha Boss offers great insights and things to take into consider.
8. Valuing Compromise
During divorce, C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E is the name of the game. In many divorce cases, compromise is key to reaching a resolution that benefits both parties. Attorneys can guide you on when to stand firm and when to seek common ground, but they can't do their job without knowing what your divorce priorities and goals are. Knowing what you're willing to compromise on, and what's non-negotiaable, before starting the process puts you in the best position to get the outcome you want. Take time to go through your assets, identify your goals, and understand financially what is reasonable to expect before starting negotiations so you set your attorney or mediator up to get you a mutually agreeable outcome that respects the interests of all parties involved.
9. Leverage Professional Resources
Divorce cases often require expert input from financial planners, accountants, and other professionals. Attorneys can connect you with these resources to bolster your case and ensure that all aspects of your divorce, from financial planning to asset valuation, are handled with expertise.
10. Embrace Support and Guidance
Sometimes it's hard to ask for help, but when you're navigating the complexities of divorce, gaining support and guidance from experienced professionals about the divorce process can help you take your next steps feeling empowered and educated. By leveraging their insider knowledge, strategic approach, and legal expertise, you can navigate the challenges of divorce with confidence and clarity.
In conclusion, decoding divorce with the help of seasoned attorneys involves a multifaceted approach that considers financial, emotional, and legal aspects. By understanding the key factors attorneys consider, embracing strategic planning, and seeking out professional guidance, individuals can navigate the divorce process more effectively. Remember, you don't have to go through it alone – experienced attorneys are here to help you every step of the way.
By implementing these strategies and insights, individuals can approach divorce with clarity, confidence, and a sense of empowerment.
Ready to take the next step and meet with attorneys? Download The Divorce Planner's freebie, 24 Questions To Ask A Divorce Attorney Or Mediator! Recommended by top divorce attorneys and mediators, this guide is a great place for you to start organizing your thoughts, questions, and keep track of who you consult with!
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