What happens when you skip the reflection, and how to do it right. Self reflection during and after divorce isn't easy, but is essential to rebuild your best life. We've all seen it: someone gets divorced, and within weeks they're in a new relationship. Sometimes it's genuine connection. Sometimes it's escape. What's the difference between the two? Intention. When you skip the reflection phase of divorce, you're more likely to make choices from a place of loneliness, relief,

When you're catastrophizing or spiraling about divorce, Martin Seligman's framework can help you think clearly instead of panicking. Spiraling is good for stairs, not so much for people. Divorce brings up catastrophic thinking. What if I can't afford to live on my own? What if my kids never forgive me? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? What if I end up alone forever? Therapists call this pattern "catastrophizing," assuming the absolute worst in any situation,

Quiet Quitting Your Marriage Isn't a Solution, It's a Signal I originally published this post in December 2025, and it's become the most-read post on my entire site. Why? Because thousands of you are living this exact experience right now—you've already left the marriage in your head, but you haven't told anyone yet. If that's you, know you're not alone. I hope the post gives you insights into where you are, and inspires you to follow the actions listed below to help you nav

I Feel Sneaky Preparing for Divorce Without Telling My Spouse—Is This Normal? Let's talk about the feeling nobody warns you about when you're preparing for divorce before sharing the news with your spouse: the guilt. You 're quietly gathering statements and documents that pertain to your married life. You're researching family law attorneys, brushed up on the divorce laws in your state and Googled "How to prepare for divorce". And the whole time, there's this voice in your he

By Alex Beattie | The Divorce Planner If you've ever Googled "where do I even start with divorce," you're not alone. Most people enter the process completely unprepared — and they pay for it. Not just emotionally, but financially, in real attorney fees for questions they could have answered themselves. A divorce preparation toolkit is exactly what it sounds like: a system that helps you organize your documents, understand your finances, clarify your goals, and walk into every

What to do when you're still legally married but emotionally — you checked out a long time ago. You're still wearing the ring. But you already left. "You've probably seen the phrase ' quiet quitting your marriage ' floating around since The Cut published their piece on it last November. And while that article named something real — women emotionally withdrawing from marriages that stopped working — I want to talk about what's actually happening underneath that phrase. Becaus

Take Control of Your Divorce Journey: Navigating the Uncertainty January—often referred to as "Divorce Month"—has just passed. I know many of you might be thinking: "Everyone else who was considering divorce in January has made a decision by now. Why can't I just decide?" Let me be clear: If you're not ready to decide, you're not behind. You're not late. You're exactly where you need to be. Subscribe to The Divorce Planner's newsletter and get divorce prep tips and tools del

What exactly is"divorce curious"? That's the stage when you first realize your marriage could end in divorce. After years of saying "I would never divorce" or "if you leave me I'm coming with you" suddenly it dawns on you that divorce could be an option. Maybe it's been building for years. Maybe something recently shifted. Either way, you're in that uncomfortable in-between place where you know things aren't working, but you don't know what to do about it. Here's what I want

AI has definitely changed the world, whether for the better is yet to be seen. AI versus human, what's better? There are so many pros and cons to using it including environmental concerns, accuracy, extreme bias and the erosion of work for actual humans. Full transparency, AI is definitely my biggest competition. And I know this for a fact because my website has AI platform tracking capability, and it constantly shows me that ChatGPT and other platforms are pulling my informa

Made it through another holiday season thinking “I can’t do this one more year”? You’re not alone. Divorce attorneys see a 33% increase in January. January has a hidden nickname in the legal world: Divorce Month. Why January Is Called “Divorce Month” Family law attorneys brace for a surge of calls starting the first week of January. Divorce-related Google searches skyrocket. And by March, divorce filings hit their annual peak. But is January really when most people divorce?