Before you make any decisions, start here. Thoughtful consideration is the key to making a decision that you'll feel good about. I originally published this post in 2023 and it remains one of the most-read pieces on this site, because these are the questions that actually matter before you make any decisions about divorce. I've updated it with new resources and tools. If you're at the beginning of this process, you're in the right place. By the time the idea of divorce has en

What happens when you skip the reflection, and how to do it right. Self reflection during and after divorce isn't easy, but is essential to rebuild your best life. We've all seen it: someone gets divorced, and within weeks they're in a new relationship. Sometimes it's genuine connection. Sometimes it's escape. What's the difference between the two? Intention. When you skip the reflection phase of divorce, you're more likely to make choices from a place of loneliness, relief,

When you're catastrophizing or spiraling about divorce, Martin Seligman's framework can help you think clearly instead of panicking. Spiraling is good for stairs, not so much for people. Divorce brings up catastrophic thinking. What if I can't afford to live on my own? What if my kids never forgive me? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? What if I end up alone forever? Therapists call this pattern "catastrophizing," assuming the absolute worst in any situation,

Quiet Quitting Your Marriage Isn't a Solution, It's a Signal I originally published this post in December 2025, and it's become the most-read post on my entire site. Why? Because thousands of you are living this exact experience right now—you've already left the marriage in your head, but you haven't told anyone yet. If that's you, know you're not alone. I hope the post gives you insights into where you are, and inspires you to follow the actions listed below to help you nav